Dream a Little PurPINK Fantasy~

Saturday, November 08, 2003

been slacking the day away. since i woke up.. 7:30am. suppose to go for my lion dance.. but since the in charge was so irresponsible.. to think he messaged me at 1am in the morning saying "hey hey.. sorry i FORGOT to inform you. meet 9am tomorrow". Man what's this shit.. it's obvious that i'm just a spare tyre in the club. ANd it doesn't really matter if i go or don't go today. and it obviously doesn't matter if the club has one less person. yeah.. my passion for lion dance.. my passion for performing lion dance has died. not relaly died, but i don't feel a sense of belonging in the club. and that's what i hate about life. not having a sense of belonging to a certain community. it's dreadful, that kinda feeling...
oh anyway, heck the lion dance.
Well... my mind's in a whirl right now.. been like that since the holidays. have a lot of things to do, but i don't know where to start from. started writing my story for the national scriptwriting competition. i really hope i can produce a good script and submit my work. i really love writing stories.. and if possible, i would like to be a script writer.. free lance. sigh... life's full of shit, isn't it?
and now.. what do i have to worry about? i can't remember.. can someone teach me how to be brutal and tell me how to break up? i'm afraid something will happen to him if we break up.. but what's the point of carrying on if you don't have any feelings for the other party anymore? he has put temendous pressure on me that i can almost gone mad. i go paranoid whenever he calls me.. i don't dare to answer his calls when i'm outside. cos if i am outside with friends, chilling out or shopping, he'd get angry. i can't stand this kinda life. it's just so.. not me. i love freedom, i don't enjoy being chained!! but how to tell him? i tried last night.. he said he doesn't want to.
my friend asked me to take a step at a time.. well.. i'll try...

Dreamed a PuRpLe DrEaM
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20:51