Saturday, January 29, 2005
!!!SO TIRED LAH!!!
it really feels terrible arh.. to be like so lethargic everyday, having to pull urself outta bed every morning and try to squeeze on that bus.. then spend like 1 hour to get to school.
these days, i've been thinking WHY and WHAT am i doing in this world at all. i dont seem to have any goals. oh yes, i do have.. i wanna graduate with a degree. i wanna make loads of money in future. but wait.. isn't that EVERYONE, okay perhaps not everyone la.. but MOST people's goals. that's like.. why should be live a life that's so simple, so boring, we have to do the same stuff everyday, study.. work.. make money. really meaningless at times..
i guess when ni highlighited my behavior to me... she did strike a cord within me.. i really felt like i was so stressed up.. i didn't have the energy to do anything anymore. wanted to cry then.. but.. nothing sad enough to make me cry. hoho...
i met mabel yesterday.. on my way to school. i guess she's still pretty much the same.. but i was really amazed she could remember where i stayed!! she and chunzhao actually came to my house to rehearse "All I Have To Give" for our music test during sec 1. oh.. and i couldn't remember it at all.. until she reminded me. haha.. well, it's nice to chat with long lost friends..
chatted with milz last nite also... she's really sounding a lot wiser now... she has always been wise lah.. but perhaps the environment she's in have taught her to be a tad serious at times.. but well.. she's still the millie i know.. i also wonder.. if we all graduated from polytechnic.. will we still stay together.. like coming out on each individual's birthdays.. or just gathering to have fun.. girls' talk and stuff.. i really dont know...
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
15:50
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
i was pissed, and i snapped.
sorry bro, but u really stepped on ur own dick when u did that. i hope u do realise what u did wasn't a responsible act for a young adult like you. read. i'm calling u a "young adult".
projects have been squeezing my sleep and brain cells lately. i'm so stressed at times.. i think i'd snap anytime. the result of all these made me a totally mean person today. nagging, complaining, hitting and inflicting physical pain to myself and my brother. i feel like a maniac, a.. i don't know. i oughta be at the asylum. does ginko really work at all? i don't feel anythin.. caffeine? i'm taking pills that has got high caffeine content.. plus i'm drinking coffee. but all of these doesnt seem to work as well.
stressed about losing weight too.. argh. losing weight. a really debatable issue which i'm really tired of. been overweight for... i dont know... born overweight.. and the only time i was ACCEPTABLE weight was when i was 10. it lasted for 6 months.. and i ballooned to 88kg.. in sec 2. i almost killed myself i cant believe it.
uh. should stop ranting lah.. but well, at least i feel better shoutin it all out here.. haha... can't chat with anyone now.. ok.. a borin day lays ahead... 9-6 at school. 3 boring hours of AAUP, 2 somethin-to-be-excited-about recording session, and the most tryin-to-anticipate ADVA practical. cool. i just love school, dont u.
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
01:13
Sunday, January 23, 2005
::emotions::
it has been a really long time since i last worked this late while listening to music. the whole saturday, i was busy cleaning up my room.. as well as getting my project to work. i really have got to make it work.. to prove my worth.. cos it seems like.. i can be quite good at resourcing, searching for good stuff and all.. but i just lack the capability to carry out the task of putting it all together. now that we've come to a stage where we need to seek help of friends outside the group.. i dont know.. i just pray something will happen.. well.. i just pray, ultimately.. i can at least do some coding.. make the damn form work.
listenin to those out of date songs.. really made me think of loadsa stuff in the past. uh.. gettin really emotional. it's as if every single song reminds me of a different occassion... listenin to ocean.. i thought about hidir. he could sing ocean's song really well.. lol. i've not fallen for him, btw...
these few days.. i've been thinking about this guy whom i used to like around a year ago. we didn't end up together.. cos i'm quite sure it's about my size.. and also.. he wasn't really seeking for a relationship, i guess.. but i hated him then. till now.. i seldom contact him. he wanted to meet up, but i really dont want to.. only reason being.. i'm still the fat me lah... and.. i'm afraid to face him and think about our past. lol.. emotional creep. -_-"
"it took me 40 years to find my paradise, when will u meet ur paradise?"
- my aunt
let's not talk about love now.. will just try to toss it to the back of my mind. haha... but u know.. i used to cry at odd hours of the night, like 2-3am if i'm not asleep, though not all the time. that's usually when i listen to the songs i'm listening to now.
anywayz.. mum found out that yj smokes.. i had tried to hard to conceal his secret. but that careless boy! left his cigarettes and lighter in his pocket. dumb.. but well, yj, if u're reading.. please do me a favour, quit okay? do it for those who care for u, dear boy..
isn't crystal a sweetie.. she just came to my room and scratched my thighs =) this morning she was sitting beside me on the chair.. and i had my hands crossed across my tummy. and she stuck her little hairy head in the gap between my arms and my hip.. then.. she started pushing her way through until her head was resting on my tummy. sweet tubs.. i love her!
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
01:52
Friday, January 21, 2005
blogging for the second time today.. haha.. damn lazy to do my work.. did some coding just now lah.. think i found a better way to carry out my project.. something which i think my group members will like. but.. i'll tell them when i know that solution will work FOR SURE.. cos the past solutions are not anywhere near perfect. lol.
anyway.. i'm rather happy today. crystal my dog has always made my day.. even though she's naughty she still makes me really happy. but other than her.. my old schoolmate - hidir called me! we were like talking for quite a long time on the fone.. even though we were not very close in school. but he's fun.. i'll force myself to call him someday.. cos.. i dun usually call people lah.. anti-social =X
and also.. was at liang court. saw alvin, cat and bernice!! but it was just a mere hi and bye... not close also mah... haha.. think they were shocked or somethin. i probably look a lot different now. maybe not a lot.. but i went from wearin baggy jeans and t-shirts (typical tom boy / sometimes i like to dress like a guy).. to wearing skirts and heels. i hate heels though.. but have to wear at times lah.. occassions.
yah.. anyway.. damn tired arh... gonna sleep.
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
23:04
juz a quick blog before i start my work... at the shop now.. and in came our FIRST customer of the day!!! weee~ this very nice english lady. she's so hearty.. laughing, joking and boy, DONT THEY SAY THE NICEST THINGS??!!! she is just SO SWEET!!! she's looking at the lavender jade now.. it's just so preeety, so beautiful!!!
well anywayz.. it's sad art friend doesn't open on public holidays.. that means i'll have to make a trip down here tomorrow again. will be stayin here the whole day.. till 7.. but with my projects all piling up.. this will be a good place to do my work without any distractions. and guess what - i found some really useful code. have yet to try it out.
man i do wish that lady will get the jade!!! she is SO SWEET! has got the great britain accent. just like sarah brightman =) - oh boy.. she just slapped christine's butt!!
had a nice long chat with teng yseterday. well.. it wasn't really THAT NICE nor was it THAT LONG... most of the time it's boring. cos.. we were trying to get some ny clothes.. but i dunno what happened.. we were so bored we just sorta wandered around like 2 lost souls.. even have to spend quite a long time to decide where to go and what to eat. anyway.. i think this is the first time i chat so long with her. haha.. i hope she's not annoyed by me. cos i'm helluva chatterbox when i'm in the mood. sorry girl.. u can always ask me to shut up.. but since u didnt say anythin.. =P
i think i'm gonna lose a friend soon. or have i lost him? esh is goin to australia in 2 weeks and we're suppose to meet today. but the meeting has actually been postponed for 2 weeks now. but i guess there was a communication breakdown, and he thought we were meeting yesterday, and i thought we were meeting today? i dont know.. but he havent replied to my sms.. so.. i'll just go out with my aunt later.
k lah.. laterz.. happy holidays peeps~
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
16:49
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
REAL LAZY
that's what i really feel rite now.. lazy to do anythin. lazy to go toilet, lazy to do my research on my newsletter scripting.. i really do wonder if i'll be able to solve that code.. there seems so many references but nothing perfect for what i'm looking for. oh well, shall try my luck later..
anyway.. past few days.. i'm glad to say i picked up DA VINCI CODE by Dan Brown. my goodness.. the story is really superb. finished the whole book in 3 days. just couldn't stop reading it. you guys should read it when u've got time... and it'll also be a test of your faith =) astonishing facts/myths, i dont know. have yet to do research. but i'll find out some stuff when i've got time!! but i think Dan Brown is a rather spiritual man? or perhaps someone who's read a lot about the arts, dark arts. he's got another book called "Demons and Angels"... hence my conclusion.
went to watch the Tiger Cup finals on Sunday. the feeling was really like.. i dont know how to describe it, it's like the whole nation gathered at the stadium. the feeling was like that of the malaysian cup / tiger cup days years ago.. when i was young. i felt shy about having to do the kallang wave.. but this time round, all of us took pride in doing that wave.. and it went around the whole stadium an astonishing 4 times!!! but soon everyone got tired.. haha.. well, it was a sight to behold.. it's like... probably 9/10 of the stadium was red.. 1/10 was white - they were the indonesian supporters. there were also groups of ex pats who wore LEEDS UTD jerseys.. and know what? they held up the Leeds banner and started shouting "Leeds rule!!" and our whole section.. i mean those around that groupa jokers booed them. haha.. this guy beside me even said "yeah.. nice try, but.. (Trailed off)" another thing i noticed was.. after half time, at 9:10.. when indonesia scored their first goal, most ex pats from around the stadium started to leave. i found it rather weird. dont know why though.
anyway.. this week will be a very busy week as we'll be rushing our fyp and flash projects... and i have to get my result slips printed out SOON!! i'm lazy..
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
13:07
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Call Me "Mandarin Orange"
can you remember when was the last time you were even proud of your nickname? I CAN'T. probably the one and only one was when someone called me "bear".. that was in primary school. but well, at least that meant i was cute or somethin.. =P
anywaez.. was at the IT fair today.. and this joker.. was wearin that fujitsu tshirt. so vin started callin him mandarin orange. he used to call me that.. but lame lah. anywayz... know what?? that guy actually told all his customers something like "hey sir, if you wanna get anythin, please look for me. i am THE mandarin orange! only person in ORANGE!" i was like.. "MY GOD!!!" what in the hells bells was he thinkin? it wasn't funny at all. it was practically - CRAPPY. it was really unprofessional to do so, in my opinion. also, he just couldn't mind his own business. i'm like, hello? i've been working at 0469 for at least 2 months, which is more than the days u worked part time at roadshows. need u tell me what to do? yes, i do admire ur crappy aggressive attitude, but PUH-LEASE!! stop interrupting me! luckily this gentleman stood up for me... he told him "u dunno wat are we talking about". man.. that guy's a pain in the ass.
anyway, sales today was rather good. over at sim lim, they sold 7 notebooks and a PLASMA!! we only get to sell plasma like once a year?? if not once in 2 years... this is really plain luck. none of us know how to promote a plasma.. cos it's like so complicated, and why would anyone wanna get a $5999 plasma? which doesnt come with a tv tuner.. but well, nvm.. haha i'm not workin full time anymore..
nah.. just thought i'd come online to vent some anger about that idiot. goin to support the lions tml..
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
01:09
Friday, January 14, 2005
boy oh boy.. it seemed like eons since i last updated this lil' site o'mine.. have been busy. stayed at my aunt's place for over a week... cos she had a case of abnormal, or should i say, extreme vertigo. but well.. i think i wrote about that in my last post. yeah.. and now good riddance! her bf is now here from us.. lol. hope she enjoys herself and stop antangonizing her love. all the best yah =)
know what? i did something really lame the day before. before i left, i cleared her web history because of a few reasons. firstly, i had her address list flooded with loads of web pages and i didnt want her to know what was i reading. i was goin into lmf and cpj sites lah.. and yeah, searching asp scripts. it was a pain in the ass. and the last reason was: I DIDN'T WANT HER TO READ MY BLOG!!!! what if i wrote some nasty things and she'll be thinking "How come ke ying is like that? what's wrong with her?" all the while she has been tryin to analyze me.. even tried emotional tapping, but i'm not sure if that works. but Than told me stuff about me which was damn true through emotional tapping.
anyway, she called me last night to ask me if i deleted her history. and i told her the reason. man.. she was rather pissed. but well... sorry~ sometimes i really wish she can control her temper and think before she speaks.. she's got a really good man out there waitin for her. and she stepped on his toes a coupla times and i heard he was really upset. -_-" she never changes. i just pray than will be able to tame her. haha. argh.
things are goin quite well for our fyp. had a fantastic meeting with sharm on wednesday.. decided quite a number of stuff. smooth sailin~ alrite.
yesterday was newstead's IT fair @ funan. it was like an
ice cream show. no customers. fujitsu only managed to sell 1 or 2 notebooks!!! most of the people went to acer and compaq. i noticed most indians like compaq, hp and ibm a lot. they dont even bother to look at fujitsu. maddening. but again, ibm and fujitsu are in the same price range. but well.. life's strange.
and i wonder why is it that all the time, i am the subject of teasing? i get teased all the time.. yesterday almost everyone at my booth was calling me "xiao pang".. which means "little fatty" - direct translation. i'm actually alrite with it.. they're joking lah. but well.. i'm waiting for the day when i cant stand it and slap them all. haha.. that will be a long time. but the worst is.. MY SUPERVISOR!!! he quite fat lor.. i think he's like 90 plus kg and maybe 170cm. he eats like 4 big meals a day. and know what??!! he calls me xiao pang also. PRECISELY! the pot calling the kettle BLACK. kanasai. but nvm... WO REN!!!
ok.. gotta do some editing for my friend's site. laterz.
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
09:49
Friday, January 07, 2005
check out my new blog skin!!! L.O.L... i wonder why am i doing this when i have my fyp to worry about. hm.. life's strange, isn't it?
met up with my net friend, eddy today. i was late, as usual.. suppose to meet him at 1.30.. i reached the bus stop at ard 2pm instead... and had to get teased by him for the rest of the day.. cos the bus no. 854 that came along, it was this really "old skool" kinda bus.. it's as though history had reanacted and we're in the 80s or somethin.. eddy havent changed much arh.. but perhaps more mature now.. yeah, 24 now.. knew him when i was 14. it's been a long time. anyway.. went to watch kungfu. that idiot!! he didnt tell me it'll be his second time watching the same show until we were halfway through the movie.. man.. if i knew, i'd ask him to watch seed of chucky or wat.. anythin but a replica.. i feel bad. but hey.. kungfu hustle was kinda funny.. though i didnt laugh a lot.. it was only a few parts which was funny. the visuals are rather good, worth commenting though.. made me think about doing such animations. would be cool, wouldnt it...
millie dear.. when can i really meet up with u? u're forever too busy for me.. i miss u so much. =P
my dear brother.. mr vanity.. went to have his ear pierced. he had 4 piercings - 2 on his cartiliage and two on his lobes. how vain can a guy get??!! and that silly guy.. after paying for the piercing.. he had to hide from everyone. became a nurse for 30 mins. had a hard time getting his thick earsticks into his fresh wound. blood splurged everywhere. it was disgusting. the one at the cartiliage was the worst. as the earstick wouldn't get in.. i cut my accupuncture needle into half.. used that as a earstick.. hm.. disgusting rite. he was yelling at me "jie, can u please be gentle? my ear's part of me leh.. pain u know"... but he wanted me to get those stuff into his pierce wat... haha.. i should probably consider a career in body piercing eh?
OUCH.
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
01:01
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Beautiful Nature
well, tsunami from far is beautiful.. as the tidal waves come crashing on shore.. but the destruction it created left millions of hearts broken. i am one of them..
one of the things in life people never ever appreciate, are the beautiful things surrounding them. be it the trees, flowers, birds - they are always there, but no one ever gets fascinated by them.
ever since i moved in with my aunt, life has been a tad different.. i begin to watch my diet a lot.. i've started to move towards a non- carbo diet ONCE MORE.. the atkins way. but i'm not gonna be at it for long.. it's unhealthy, anyway.. i'm just gonna eat more vegetables. i've been visiting the sauna for the past few days.. tryin it as a means to lose some oil.. don't know if it works, but i feel the heat sets my metabolism high. i was practically dripping sweat and also, i felt my heart beat increase. it was a wonderful feeling.
anyway.. on my way back yesterday, i saw this huge flock of birds. there should be around 40-50 of them, maybe more, i dont know. they looked like swallows. small-sized birds high up in the sky. they were travelling in circles, chirping loudly as they do so.. it was an amazing sight, i regretted not having my camera with me. but again, to be able to see it with your own eyes gives a different kinda perspective. the birds were circling in the sky and they got lower and lower with every circle they make.. until they reached the trees. soon, the trees were full of birds. one had better not be walking down under the tree. u'd just be a walking bird-poo collector =P but well, it was a fascinating sight.
my hopes of getting into SMU by august has been dashed. i shoulda took the SAT earlier!!! by the time i get my SAT results.. registration woulda already been closed for around 2 months. geez.. just wait and see. i'm still unsettled with my future.. was at a lost too when my aunt asked me yesterday, echoing her boyfriend, Than's thoughts "What Are You Going To Do With Your Life?"
God.. I'm just so vexed!! Help me please!
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
@
13:45
