Sunday, December 28, 2003
just came back... went to watch lotr 3 again.. this time with my aunt. but i guess i understood the story more this time round. the other day.. i was dozing off. haha.. couldn't really absorb properly. the kid seated behind me had no manners at all. he and his dad. his dad kept shaking his legs and it made me giddy man... i pictured myself standing up and puking all over him saying "sorry, you made me giddy." and the boy was kicking at my chair. idiots. then went to conrad... wanted to eat the ice kachang there... but they only have it during high tea. so went back to suntec's foodcourt.. eat durian chendol. haha.... i guess i kinda enjoyed my quiet evening with my aunt.
sigh...
it's been a week since i knew esh. and within this week... it seems that... there are two parts in our first week of friendship. i loved the first two days the best. it was like... being in love. talking to him was an excitement... we had many things to talk about. i still have those wonderful memories in my mind.. and i don't wanna forget them. and well.... we met on the third day. i won't describe what happened when we met... but it was pleasant and not so pleasant - i felt like punching him at one point.
and... the days after we met... i didn't feel so happy anymore. everything has changed... it seems. though he assured me nothing has. but i know deep down in my heart, something has - i just dunno what.
he used to call me at least once everyday... and loads of sms b4 we met. after that.... i don't get news from him as much anymore. and... it hurts me. i know i'm sounding like a bloody idiot... we're not even lovers. i know. and i know very well that we can't and won't be together.
today he asked me if i loved him or missed him.. i said no. but actually... i do. i just don't wanna admit it. i'm tryin to deceive myself. everytime i'll take out my handphone, wanting to sms him. but i'll end up cancelling the whole message. i don't wanna disturb him. it's awkward.
he broke another promise again... this morning he called. and i was very glad he called... but too bad he gotta go eat breakfast in his dad's new car... sigh.. i was very disappointed. but what to do... anyway, he said,"i'll call you back, don't worry".
and... he didn't. i even skipped my band prac cos i thought he'd call.... and i really wanna hear his voice again. but well... fuck it.
(i skipped band prac also cos i was late tryin to help my mum download something)
sigh.. god.. please let me meet people like esh... so if something happens to our friendship.... dot dot dot
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
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21:57
