Friday, January 02, 2004
went to see the doctor today... the doctor's getting prettier... despite the birth of a new child. haha.... she looks younger now than she had when she was pregnant. funny... anyway, she asked me if i was gonna lose more weight. i said yes, and she says it's good.. all the best.
went to the library today... and felt as if i was gonna die in the library. felt damn sick and weak. but givin tuition at 4 and 6:40... these 2 sessions were damn boring. wC is extremely naughty today... kept arguing with me. and oh.. his grandma gave me a perfume. i haven't opened it. i hope it doesn't smell weird. but why should i bother anyway... i don't put perfume. i stink.
things has been going through my mind today... don't know why. it's just one of those moody cock-ed up days.
anyway, i got even more deep in thought when i read this book "WAKE UP, I'M FAT"... it's a very inspirational book. It tells of how the author overcame difficulties faced by a plus sized woman.. it's somewhat similar to my situation.. but one of the things that she touched on made me realise something - that this truly is a superficial world. somewhat weird. when you're fat, you'll wonder why people don't realise beauty comes from the heart, but from the skin. cos fatties yearn to be accepted for their inner selves and not how they look like... cos.. well... we don't look good to get accepted. but when we're slim.. and it doesn't even matter if we look average or above average.. we'll still be accepted. when we're slim, we'll again wonder.. why are these fat people around? they're disgusting. it's a very close to my heart situation... i was fat last time. it was only recently that i slimmed down... and think of the wonderful things happening to me... hoho.. well...
i began to wonder... how is it that people can fall in love so easily in a moment and fall out of love the next? isn't it scary why some people can let the phrase "I Love You" flow out of them so easily that it's as if they're farting and it doesn't cause any harm to the recepient? I wish I could be the ones I'm talking about.. to be able to say "I Love You" so easily - and carelessly.. and also to fall in and out of love as and when i like. anyway, the person who'll get hurt is the opposite party... not me. isn't everyone in this world selfish? i don't know.. but it's finally gettin to me that.. no one in this world is gonna give a damn about what i feel. and.... most people put a false front. yup.. even my so called best bud does that.
i guess... i don't know. i just find that.. he's lying. i don't wanna know if he's telling me stuff straight from his heart or not. cos... i'll probably get the same lies. i'm kinda tired of socializing. yet... i yearn to socialise... life's a contradiction isn't it? well... to sum it off... life sux. well, life doesn't. love does
Dreamed a PuRpLe
DrEaM
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21:42
