Dream a Little PurPINK Fantasy~

Sunday, June 13, 2004

1:35 and I can't sleep... was actually already sleeping at 11pm just now.. but my bro's wC woke me up... he turned on the speaker damn loud. Had a chat with him.. found out he smoked... or rather, used to smoke. GOSH. At least he told me now... he also has a desire to go clubbin. I hope he doesn't get into any gang fights or take drugs.. I'm gonna kill him if he does.

Thinkin of what happened just now. Went out with Kevin.. I thought I was already beginning to love him again.. it went quite well for the past 2-3 weeks until today... I felt like a slave.. that he's a bloody male chauvanist we call a pig. hmm... first we went to his fren's saloon.. let the people there cut his hair. Took a bloody 1 hour to cut botak. Trainee. But well anyway.. after that went to eat. I seriously didn't know what to eat. I wanted to eat steamboat, but he didn't want. So he said somethin like "What you wanna eat? You decide la, u hungry mah." I dunno why, but I was a little unhappy about the way he said "You hungry mah" It's as if I'm hungry and he's not. The way he said it is like.. I'm a glutton, as in i need to eat all the time. Actually he himself is hungry, but he said he's a little full... so I said I din wanna eat, and I could see him lose his cool. But I was happy.. I hated him at that point of time, but still... I tried maintainin my cool as well...

Then, we went to the market near his house... that was when I cried. I dunno why I cried lor.. but he did something that made me feel hurt... very hurtful. First, he asked me to sit down while he go get somethin. Then, he asked me to go with him. I felt lazy anyway, so I just sat down and watched him walk to the stall. Suddenly he just turned around and showed a frustrated kinda face and signalled me to go over.... that kinda expression was as if I was his maid and I was damn slow. I hated him for that. How'd u feel if your bf treated u that way? He says he loves u, but his actions prove otherwise.....

In a way, after meeting a new pal.. his name is cookie... he's a very sensitive guy, i feel. He can sense what am i thinking... and really cares a great deal how i feel. he knows i'm sensitive.... well after meeting him, i keep comparing kevin to him. I wish kevin was just half as caring as cookie...

Dreamed a PuRpLe DrEaM
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01:34