Dream a Little PurPINK Fantasy~

Monday, August 01, 2005

i am an arsehole, a pile of shit.

it's not like a lie even. but when i have to say something negative or something that i don't feel is truthful, i feel so so so bad. it's like i have to find a thousand and one excuses to cover up one silly fact which isn't really something bad at all. why the hell do i have to do shit like this. damn it. now i can't even sleep properly. i have to learn to let go. i need to see a shrink. i'm mad. and oh, u know? IMH is known as "Buangkok Green Medical Park". cool!

my shins are aching like nobody's business after the morning 12km trek at macritchie. it's a good feeling overall, but i just hate how i have to grapple with the uneven "terrains". it made my legs wobble silly.

i've been feeling very guilty lately, ever since graduation day. it's this character from my course who made me look like an arsehole.
looking on, i guess i should have just opened my damn mouth and ask her to join in our photo shoot. i mean, hey, it's graduation day and everyone looks forward to take many pictures with their mates, parents.. whoever they know. but i dont know why i just can't gather the courage to ask her to join us in the group shot. was it because i despised her? or was i too proud to step forward and invite her? i've been thinking about me in her shoes. i wouldn't feel good, obviously. i guess that's how she must have felt. my friend says her parents looked worried, perhaps concerned why didn't their daughter join in the group shot...
i am such an arsehole. i deserve to be shot. the worst thing was that..... she helped us snap shots.. :(
not that i can't wait to befriend her once again, i guess what's over is over.. and i was hoping that she'd stop being a bitch and tone down her actions. but i was SO naive to believe so. she's sitll the same. i wonder what's going to happen when school starts on thursday... i'm going for econs lecture, so is she. poof.

Dreamed a PuRpLe DrEaM
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16:29